I haven’t written about Ceili. I haven’t been ready. Part of me wants to keep her as close to my heart as I can, and for some reason I have felt by sharing about her, I wouldn’t be keeping her close.

I chose today to write about her because 3 months ago today, we had lunch at Sedona. We laughed, we lunched, and we shared. It was one of my favorite days with her. There wasn’t any medicine or chemo or blood, just us; we were The Dynamic Duo. We were just two carefree, giddy girlfriends laughing and talking about our lives, the Squad, and all her plans. It was a simple day with my friend.

It was the last day I saw her not in a hospital. It was the last day we spent together before everything spiraled down hill. She died 16 days after that lunch date. 16 days after this photo. And while I know no matter what, I would have always wanted more time with her, those sixteen days were too fast, too unexpected and too hard but not nearly as hard as the last 3 months without her in them.

Cancer is like that though. It shows up when we least expect it and changes everything and never on our timeline. My life is not the same without her laughter, her smile, her intelligence, her writing, her text messages, her insight, her energy, her attitude, her honesty, her perspective and especially her friendship. Knowing her made me a better person and because of that, I will hold her in my heart always.

If you haven’t already, please watch this video so you can experience this amazing woman.